Thursday, April 28, 2005

Tim, do you want to be my Jogging buddy? No, but i will be your jogging buddy - the "J" is soft

Hello my dearest friends

I have been reading all of my old blogs (cause for some reason I decided to print them all and put them in a binder) and have noticed something alarming. I do a lot of blogging when I am insanely tired or fatigued, or fagged out, however I describe it. It seems that the time I find best for blogging is when I am feeling a lack of overall sleep. Today is no different.

My life is….something. I don’t even know, all I know is that this will be one of my last few blogs for quite a while because of the working conditions of my new job which start on Monday. The hours and the living situation are not acclimatized to my internet usage regularity. Oh well, I will try and squeeze one or two in now and then, because I love to blog. This reminds me of a song from the film “Marry Poppins” called “I Love to laugh”. When I was a kid, I really loved that movie and particularly that scene. Perhaps at some point this summer I will watch this film. Perhaps with a girl, perhaps and more likely with Tim Houghton, who along with his brother Joshua will be my roommates upon my arrival in the humble town of Calgary Alberta. Anydiddle, I had a good week thus far. For instance, last Sunday (when did I blog last?) my friend Jamie stopped in on her way home and we had a nice lunch together and also a good time of hanging out and chatting. It was a remarkably beautiful day, which at the time seemed normal, but now, it is not, the weather has turned sour. Then I was greeted by Tuesday, (well actually Monday, wait, I blogged on Tuesday, this is all old news isn’t it?) Ok, Tuesday night was to be my final Fusion (youth group event) ever as an intern. Kyle (my mentor) told me to prepare a little going away speech that I would do at the beginning and then the night would go to small groups just like normal. So we got there, Kyle and I prayed before, and then he did announcements and then when he was done, he told everyone to go downstairs for a going away party for me. What a surprise! We played fun games, we ate cake, kids thanked me and told stories, then I did my speech thingy, it was all very fun and emotional. I love these kids, for three weeks they planned this thing, and were able to keep it a secret. Kyle couldn’t believe it and now, neither could I. Anyway, this is a terrible blog and I have no passion or desire today. I also seem to have nothing to say, so I will end it here, and perhaps tomorrow I will actually have something that’s of worth to say.

Song of the Day: oh crap, I had one and no I have forgotten. This is brutal, I can’t remember anything. I was talking to Tim last night and we were talking and I would forget something that I said in the previous sentence. I am having some real memory issues, not to be confused with mammory gland issues though. Crap, what was that song? Oh yeah, now I remember. Song of the day is “I’ll be” by Edwin Mccain. It’s a decent song that harkens back to a time before I really knew that nice mellow music had potential to be called good. Anyway if you have the means and or desire and actually want to get something out of this schlock of a blog, download or listen to this song.

“May the Force be With You”
“And Also With You”
“We Lift up our Hearts”
“We lift the up to the Lord”

Tuesday, April 26, 2005

Broken Wrists and David Beckham without Skills

Hey,

Most of you know what’s going on in my life right now. I took yesterday to think, pray, fast and so on. This is what I came up with; I just thought I would share it with you.

“God, you put the words in my mouth and in my head this morning, then you confirmed it through your word.

‘Anyone who loves his father or mother more then me is not worthy of me; anyone who loves his son or daughter more then me is not worthy of me’ – Matthew 10:37

The first thing I think is that I am not worthy of you in the first place. I am not worthy of anything you offer, love, grace, salvation, healing, riches, glory, your presence, None. There is nothing I could do to attain worthiness. Why do you word it this way? All I know is that I have loved my earthly father more then I have loved you. I am sorry, and I know you are not asking me to diminish in love for my earthly father, but to grow in love for you. Also, not to be crippled and held back by this love for my father. No matter what happens, I will not stop loving you and trusting you. No matter what happens I will not cease to proclaim your goodness. Oh that people could see your glory, through whatever happens. Though God, you know it is my earnest desire for my father to live. Why? If he were to die, he would be in a much better place. I don’t want him to die because of the pain, because of the disruption, because of how it would affect my family. Perhaps in even looking ahead, I am not trusting you with the uncertainty. I want to love you more then anything. I want to release myself to you. This is me, dying today, to me, for you.

Matthew 7:7-12
‘Ask and it will be given to you, seek and you will find, knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, he who seeks finds, and to him who knocks, the door will be opened. For which of you if his son asks him for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish will give him a snake? If you then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your father in Heaven give good gifts to those who ask him? So in everything, do unto others what you would have them do to you. For this sums up the law and the prophets.’

This seems like a formula. Does it work like a formula? Does it depend on your definition of good gifts? Does this pertain only to things we “need”? Without the expectancy of a mathematical formula I ask – God please heal my father. I am seeking to have my father healed and I stand at the door of your throne room and knock that I might seek your favor in order to see my father healed. I love you, show me how to do so more, so that my attachment would lie in you, and my trust would be in you, and that my confidence would come from you, and that I would have confidence at all.”

So these were my thoughts. This is where I am at. I find out tonight the results of the bone scan. I am nervous. I also have my final youth event ever tonight, which is bittersweet, even like a bittersweet symphony.

Song of the day is “Cry in my Heart” by Starfield. It has helped my get through some of these days. The chorus say’s

“What do I have
If I don’t have you Jesus?
What in this life
Could mean any more?
You are my rock,
You are my Glory,
You are the lifter of my head”

Amazing song, if you have the means and or the desire, check it out. Talk to you soon.
Love Mike

Monday, April 25, 2005

John Travolta is so Cool

Bonjour,

Did me using that French greeting evoke feelings of murderous hate in you? I recently heard an opinion of a man in my town, a man I respect no less, that truly believes if it came to civil war in Canada, Anglo-Saxons vs. the frenchy’s, he believes that a murderous army could be rallied from the town of Vermilion alone. I disagreed with him. I know people don’t like Quebec, but a murderous army? I don’t know about that? I certainly hope not.

Anyway

Hi, I am currently listening to Green Day. I feel good about that. I feel ok in general, although, ever since I played soccer and football the other day, my legs have been slightly sore. Mostly my ankles and knees, cause of all the cutting and moving in ways that I don’t move unless I am playing soccer and or football. It’s a good kind of soreness though; it means I have been active, which is good. I’ve also watched a lot of movies in the last 29 hours. Like yesterday, I watched 80% of “The Patriot” starring Mel Gibson. None of that Steven Segal crap! If you haven’t seen it, and you can stomach some American historical patriotism and propaganda then you should watch this film. Then today I watched the Academy Award nominated film “Sideways”. I really liked it, and it certainly wasn’t as bad as the scathing reviewer employed by James Dobson made it out to be. He had me thinking that I had rented a porno, Satan worshipping flick, which it really isn’t. Then later on tonight, I watched this new Ryan Philippe movie called “The I Inside”. The last Ryan Phillippe movie I saw was “Anti Trust” and so his presence didn’t excite me that much, but the movie was likened to “Memento” in the advertisements, so I decided to watch it with Kyle. It reminded me more of “The Butterfly Effect”, but all in all, it was not the worst movie I have ever watched.

Other then my mass movie watching, I preached this morn. It went better then I thought it would, though my ending was abrupt and crappy. Oh well, these things happen, and people said that they appreciated my message (God’s message) regarding the Sabbath, so that was nice to hear. It’s always good to hear that God does not abandon us when we are at our weakest. It is especially good to hear since I feel like I am at my weakest right now. Thanks to those of you who prayed for me and my sermon, prayers were answered and God worked. Thanks to those of you who are praying for my dad and my family, I am trying to trust God will work just as miraculously in this situation. Actually, more miraculously, but you know what I mean.

I don’t have much else to say at this point. I am focused beyond belief, but look forward to actually practicing my beliefs regarding the Sabbath tomorrow. Our Youth Centre “The Edge” opens on Saturday, so there is much detail work to finish up before then, my work consists mostly of Public Relations (shaking hands, kissing babies, cutting cakes, kissing other guys girlfriends…hehe) and Music Ministry (which means fixing all the last bits of music on our cool touch screen juke box and hopefully kissing other guys girlfriends) I’m sorry, I don’t know what’s come over me, I don’t think I actually want to kiss other guys girlfriends, I should just get one of my own, but I am in an emotional state, thinking about relationships is the 2nd worst thing I could do at this juncture. So instead I will talk about the song of the day.

Not too long ago I visited Jon and Kim Kramer in Westlock. Matt Kinniburgh also showed up. Anyway, on the drive up there I was sampling music to put on the aforementioned touch screen juke box. One of the CD’s I was sampling was “American Idiot” by a band of my pre-pubescence called Green Day. Anyway, I was really enjoying it, and I remember driving on the highway up to Westlock, I don’t remember the number, though I believe it is 44, anyway, a song came on that really caught my attention. It was a song called “Are we the Waiting?”. To be honest, I am not sure exactly what the song is about. Maybe if it wasn’t so late, and maybe if I was smarter. But the song itself, the sound, it’s beautiful. I never thought I could say that about a Green Day song, but here I am being proven wrong by Billie, Mike and Tre, still rockin’ after all these years. Well, that’s it for me; I think I am going to watch one more movie before I go to bed, so I can do it in peace. It’s the new John Travolta, Scarlett Johansson film called “A Love Song for Bobby Long”. Who knows, John Travolta has grey hair in it, he is so cool, if I was an actor, I would be John Travolta, minus “Battlestar Galactica” or whatever that alien/scientology movie was that he did. Anyway, if you have the means and or the desire, and I know you do, check out “Are we the waiting” by Green Day. Peace.

Thursday, April 21, 2005

To Find Some Beautiful Place to Get Lost

It’s 10:26pm. I am preaching this weekend, and my sermon is no where near where I wish it was in preparation. I feel so uninspired. I wonder if the guys who wrote the bible ever felt this way. Like they knew that God has a message for them to write down, but it just wasn’t happening. That’s how I feel right now. I am supposed to preach about the Sabbath, and I just don’t know where to go with the sermon, and every time I seem to think I have direction I try to flush it out and I hate it. I get discouraged and I can’t seem to get any work done. This has actually been harder for me to do then any sermon, speech, presentation, anything in my life.

So I ran away. I went and buried my mind in other things. Mind numbing things, and then I went out and played soccer for an hour or so. That was ok, it could’ve been better, we lost daylight pretty quickly because we started sort of late.

I am really tired; I don’t have much to say tonight. I am feeling down, I want to just get this sermon over with. I feel burdened by it right now. I feel like as soon as I step down off the stage, and out of the pulpit I will be so relieved. It’s the last major thing I have to do for my internship. Next week is pretty much relational stuff, cleaning out my office, packing up and moving to my new home, and getting more training for my new job.

The first ever band I was in was called “Num” and I was reading my previous paragraphs and all the while listening to Elliott Smith, and when I read the part about mind numbing, it made me think of “Num”. You see the thing about “Num” was that none of us knew how to play the instruments really at all, but we wanted to learn and be a band. I was going to be the drummer, but when I got home and told my parents, they said no, cause it was too expensive and we had nowhere for me to put and practice on a drum set. I was sad. Anyway, one day, we made music videos. We just lip-synced to three popular songs that we liked and we each took a turn pretending to sing lead vocals. Jason, who was our guitarist in training, chose “Today” by the Smashing Pumpkins. Brendan, our bassist, did “When I Come Around” by Green Day, and I did “Basket Case”, also by Green Day. I wish I could see that video. It would be the kind of thing you would see on Jeremiah’s freak show video, except it would be about me.

Anyway, song of the day is “Five Days in May” by Blue Rodeo. I have been really getting into Blue Rodeo lately. I wouldn’t call myself a die-hard and devoted fan, but I like what I have heard anyway. “Five Day’s in May” is an amazing song; Blue Rodeo is kinda countryish, rockabilly even. Anyway, if you have the means and or the desire you should check out this song, it’s a great song. It has some great lyrics; it’s a good story kind of a song. I Miss a lot of people today.

Wednesday, April 20, 2005

If I was Pope, what would my Pope-Name be?

April 19th 2005, a day that I will never forget. Today is the day that the new Pope was elected. The man formerly known as Joseph Ratzinger, now known as Pope Benedict XVI has been appointed Pope and head of the Catholic Church, and he is looking pretty good for a 78 year old German man, but as I told my cynical youth tonight, “German’s live forever”…

Speaking of looking good for an older person….sorry I’m about to be shallow and weird… but I just finished watching Meet the Fockers, and Blythe Danner (who plays Gaylord Focker’s mother in law and who consequently is the mother of Gwyneth Paltrow, who I love) is very attractive for a women who is old enough to by my grandmother…..hopefully you aren’t all to weirded out by that statement. I don’t mean this in a degrading or sexually weird way, I just mean she has aged noticeably well, and I appreciate beauty wherever I see it, whether it is in human form, or in any other form.

Enough with that.

Today in preparation for my sermon on the Sabbath, I was going over a familiar passage of scripture. We all know about the story in Genesis where we learn about the Creation of the earth right? If you don’t hear it is, well from the sixth day on. Genesis 1:24-31.

24 And God said, "Let the land produce living creatures according to their kinds: livestock, creatures that move along the ground, and wild animals, each according to its kind." And it was so. 25 God made the wild animals according to their kinds, the livestock according to their kinds, and all the creatures that move along the ground according to their kinds. And God saw that it was good.
26 Then God said, "Let us make man in our image, in our likeness, and let them rule over the fish of the sea and the birds of the air, over the livestock, over all the earth, [
a] and over all the creatures that move along the ground."
27 So God created man in his own image,
in the image of God he created him;
male and female he created them.

28 God blessed them and said to them, "Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it. Rule over the fish of the sea and the birds of the air and over every living creature that moves on the ground."
29 Then God said, "I give you every seed-bearing plant on the face of the whole earth and every tree that has fruit with seed in it. They will be yours for food. 30 And to all the beasts of the earth and all the birds of the air and all the creatures that move on the ground-everything that has the breath of life in it-I give every green plant for food." And it was so.
31 God saw all that he had made, and it was very good. And there was evening, and there was morning-the sixth day.

So, on the sixth day, it is clear according to the text that God created humanity. And he didn’t just create a man, but it say’s male and female he created them, which does more then imply that by the end of God’s time creating things he had created both a male and a female, which actually does imply that he created both Adam and Eve. It also say’s that he blessed them, encouraged them to create offspring and gave them dominion over everything. He also said it was good, in fact very good, and then the day ended.

Here’s where it either gets confusing or I lose my mind. The entire next passage of scripture, Genesis chapter 2, seems to go back in time and explain to us exactly how Adam and Eve personally came about, and all the stuff that happened in between. Here read for yourself….

1 Thus the heavens and the earth were completed in all their vast array.
2 By the seventh day God had finished the work he had been doing; so on the seventh day he rested [
a] from all his work. 3 And God blessed the seventh day and made it holy, because on it he rested from all the work of creating that he had done.
Adam and Eve
4 This is the account of the heavens and the earth when they were created.
When the LORD God made the earth and the heavens- 5 and no shrub of the field had yet appeared on the earth [
b] and no plant of the field had yet sprung up, for the LORD God had not sent rain on the earth [c] and there was no man to work the ground, 6 but streams [d] came up from the earth and watered the whole surface of the ground- 7 the LORD God formed the man [e] from the dust of the ground and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life, and the man became a living being.
8 Now the LORD God had planted a garden in the east, in Eden; and there he put the man he had formed. 9 And the LORD God made all kinds of trees grow out of the ground-trees that were pleasing to the eye and good for food. In the middle of the garden were the tree of life and the tree of the knowledge of good and evil.
10 A river watering the garden flowed from Eden; from there it was separated into four headwaters. 11 The name of the first is the Pishon; it winds through the entire land of Havilah, where there is gold. 12 (The gold of that land is good; aromatic resin [
f] and onyx are also there.) 13 The name of the second river is the Gihon; it winds through the entire land of Cush. [g] 14 The name of the third river is the Tigris; it runs along the east side of Asshur. And the fourth river is the Euphrates.
15 The LORD God took the man and put him in the Garden of Eden to work it and take care of it. 16 And the LORD God commanded the man, "You are free to eat from any tree in the garden; 17 but you must not eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, for when you eat of it you will surely die."
18 The LORD God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him."
19 Now the LORD God had formed out of the ground all the beasts of the field and all the birds of the air. He brought them to the man to see what he would name them; and whatever the man called each living creature, that was its name. 20 So the man gave names to all the livestock, the birds of the air and all the beasts of the field.
But for Adam [
h] no suitable helper was found. 21 So the LORD God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man's ribs [i] and closed up the place with flesh. 22 Then the LORD God made a woman from the rib [j] he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man.
23 The man said,
"This is now bone of my bones
and flesh of my flesh;
she shall be called 'woman, [
k] '
for she was taken out of man."
24 For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.
25 The man and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame.


Now I know this is getting long but bear with me. If we hold to the idea that the six days of creation are literal, then we must believe that everything that occurred in Chapter 2 of Genesis which you just read occurred in one 24 hour period. This means that within 24 hours,
1. Adam was created.
2. He was put in the Garden of Eden, which was planted at some other undisclosed time.
3. God observed that Adam would benefit from having someone to help him.
4. God began creating all the animals in the world, land mammals, birds, amphibians and whatever else, but every single living creature on the earth, and God showed them to Adam so that Adam could name them.
5. Adam named every animal.
6. After the animal naming, God realized that none of these were good enough to give Adam what he needed.
7. God knocks Adam out cold and performs a surgery to take one of his ribs.
8. God creates the lovely species of Women from Adam’s lone rib.
9. Then he presents this women to Adam, and they have some romantic wedding ceremony.

Now, I am not saying that this could not be done in one day. I am not denying God’s capabilities, in that I believe he is powerful enough to accomplish this. But in holding to this idea that creation was this clean event that happened in six 24 hour periods of time seems ludicrous to me considering all that was done on day six. I don’t believe that if God sat me down and paraded all the animals in the world in front of me, that I could name them all in 24 hours, let alone have all the other stuff happen to me. I know God can do anything, but by holding so fast to this literal reading of Genesis, we are putting a time limit on things, a human time limit, which includes the work and involvement of humans, like me, like you. If the passage would’ve said, God made man, made the animals and named them, realized Adam needed something better and made her, that would be more agreeable, because God is all powerful, and God is able to work in the bounds of time and space he is not limited by that, but humans are. Then if you were to argue that Adam and Eve weren’t limited by time and space, because of the fall hadn’t occurred yet, then it blows the literal six days theory out of the water. Not to mention the idea that When Adam and Eve had Seth, their third born son, Adam was 130 years old. I’ll give them 25 years for the Cain and Abel thing, but what was Adam doing for those unaccounted for 105 years. It makes sense to think that he was living in the Garden naming Animals and communing with God for some of that time, and for some time after that he was living happily with Eve and God. Perhaps none of this matters, but as I read through it today it was like I experienced a physical paradigm shift, as if some alarms went off in my head that said, this doesn’t totally add up, but that’s ok, it doesn’t make me believe that God created the world and everything in it any less, it just means that the story of the creation of the world just became a heck of a lot more relational and real to me. If you disagree with me, and think I am a heretic, or were there and really know what happened and you care to debate or discuss with me my ideas, I would love to, I am open to your ideas and thoughts on the subject as I hope and pray you are with my ideas and heart ponderings.

I am sorry about this, but it’s not quite finished. I know this is long, but I want to give you this next section from Donald Miller’s book “Searching for God knows What”, I realize it will only make this longer, but I feel it important, and if you don’t want to read it so be it, but this is my blog and I will do whatever I want damn it! Also if you like what he say’s in the following direct quote I recommend you read his books. He is great.

Ok, I started writing it out, got about a quarter done and realized this is way too long, and I am tired of typing and being awake in general. My advice to you, buy or borrow the book and ready pages 63-65 directly after re-reading this epic blog.

Ok, I will leave you with that, Song of the day is “Open Skies” by David Crowder Band. I have enjoyed the music of the Chow, ever since I saw him open for Bebo Norman in Kentucky, and I bought this cd of his “Illuminate” a few months ago whilst on a trip to Edmonton, and I listened to it once and then filed it away, I listened to it today whilst reading scripture and praying. It is pretty phenomenal actually, though it might be more of a headphones album then a driving album. The song itself “Open Skies” is pretty amazing. It talks about all creationg praising God, it’s pretty cool, if you have the means and or the desire, you should listen to it, maybe even whilst reading some Donald Miller, you can’t go wrong with either of those things.

I love you all very much, Matt Russell, I need to chat with you, so when you are back in internet connectivity zone, let me know, have a great day, pray for me this weekend, I am preaching and I feel stumped right now. Peace from the Shaolin, an early supporter of Pope Benedict XVI….hmmm….if I was pope, what would my name be?

Sunday, April 17, 2005

Why does my finger hurt?

It’s been a long time since I last was here and blogging. With the amount of blogging I have been doing lately, I am starting to feel like Tim Houghton…(whoa buddy, just jokes, it was a harmless rib used in love). Anyway, my life has become busy, also, it has become a bit of a burden lately for me to blog. I sit down to do it and I feel guilty cause I haven’t done it in a long time. Anyway, I’m not making excuses; I am just telling you that my top priority hasn’t been blogging lately. Sorry, I will try to better, seeing as I doubt I will get to blog at all once I start my job here in vermilion, mostly cause when I’m not at work, I hope to be asleep, and also the place I am moving doesn’t have a computer.

So as of today, I have 14 days left as an intern. This blows my mind, it has gone by so fast it’s not even funny. So I have discovered a new Playstation 2 game. I’m sure you’re not too interested in hearing about my nerdy ways, but that’s about all I have to talk about right now. My friend and I rented this game called NBA Street, and it’s like you play basketball on street courts and stuff. It’s actually pretty fun, and it’s fairly easy which makes a person like me (who is actually terrible at video games) quite happy. In fact, I created myself in the game, and I had a game in my career, where my rival (Biggie Littles) brought in Vince Carter to help him beat me, but I beat Vince, it was pretty awesome, well, it was fun to beat a video game version of a pretty good basketball player. Ok, I realize no one cares about this….

Playing this game reminded me of a time when I actually used to like basketball. Well, there were only two times in my life when I played a significant amount of basketball…wait maybe there are four. But it made me think about my time before and after I went to the Philippines in the summer of 2002 (not to be confused with the “Unforgettable Summer of 2001”) where I played basketball. You see, as part of our trip we were going to be interacting with locals. We were told that a good way to do that is through playing basketball with them, so me and some friends/missions trip teammates, Adam and Matt, decided to spend some time honing our Basketball Skills. We even made a mix CD of Rap songs to listen to while we played Basketball. It was good times, even though I was and still am a terrible basketball player. We would be out in the summer sun, with our African American Rhythms blasting from our boom box, looking like total fool white boys, playing a game that we weren’t very good at. Anyway, I would love to do that again sometime. So if you have some hip-hop music and a desire to beat me at basketball, then by all means, give me a call.

I Had a Junior High Boys event this weekend. We watched all three original Star Wars movies in one night as well as playing a floor hockey tournament, eating Pizza and playing another game called PIG. I didn’t sleep at all the entire night, not many did. This fatigue is actually catching up with me this exact moment. Do you know the feeling, when you are feeling fine then all of the sudden you feel the grip of fatigue, and you know you need to go to bed. Well that just happened, but I probably won’t go to bed. I still want to watch the film “Rudy” tonight, because I have had Kyle’s copy for like over a week, and also video games are calling my name in an effort to replace human relationship. That’s a bad scene….

Anyway, Song of the day. I have been listening to a lot of music that you might not expect lately and I have been enjoying it to be quite honest. For example, I have been listening to Sum 41’s latest album “Chuck” and I have been loving it. Therefore, my song of the day will come from that album. The song is “The Bitter End” which is blatantly ripped off from any Metallica song from “Master of Puppets”, but hey, what can you do. If you don’t like music that isn’t soft, you won’t like this song. If you have the means and or the desire, check this song out, also it has some wicked Guitar. Sorry, I am really out of it now, I feel incoherent mentally. Gotta Sleep, Gotta Sleep, Gotta play mindless games……

ps. just in case you were wondering, my pointer finger on my left hand hurts, right on the tip....and i don't know why

Wednesday, April 13, 2005

Vancouver vs. Vermilion

There was a time in my life (like before I began writing this blog) where I believed that Vermilion and Vancouver only had the following two things in common: That they both started with the letter “V”, and that I lived in both places. Now I know better, because there is indeed a third thing that the town of Vermilion and the City of Vancouver have in common. It is rain. It is raining like a crazy duck here right now! And the sky is black like I have never seen it before! I even heard it was supposed to snow tomorrow, which would make Mike a dull boy, or at least an angry boy.

Have you ever gone somewhere and eaten so much food that it made you feel sick to your stomach, sleepy, and awesome all at the same time? Well that was what I did tonight. The Small Groups Coordinator, Phil, and his wife had Kyle and I over for an awesome Mexican dinner tonight. I haven’t eaten that much since, well I don’t know when, and it was so filling, and so good, I felt like I was going to barf, and fall asleep, and go to heaven all at the same time!

Anyway, sorry I haven’t updated in a while. I’m sure some of you were desperate for a peek inside my brain, or at least an update on my blog. My evenings have been very busy for the last few days, and they aren’t going to get any easier, but blogging is a priority for me tonight, so I will blog and then I will go to bed, cause I am still feeling the sleepy after-effects of that dinner. And just in case you were wondering if my evenings were being taken up by some new romantic interest, well wonder no longer! My life continues to be devoid of any inter-gender romantic relationship. It is also devoid of same-gender romantic relationships, which is just great. Anyway, let’s move on shall we? Last Saturday I went to Edmonton with the college and career group and we played some late night laser tag. I swear laser tag places exist in some ridiculous time warp continuum or something, because they say 20 minute games, but it always feels like 5 minutes and then it’s over. Anyway, that was a pretty fun time, although I ate too much pizza, but laser tag was good. I did pretty crappy the first game coming in 21st out of 29 people, but the second game with my new aggressive attitude I managed to come in at a very respectable 2nd place. Then on the way home, very squished in Kyle’s car, Kyle and I broke out into singing some Aerosmith songs. It was pretty funny cause here we are in a car with three other guys singing “I Don’t want to miss a thing” at the top of our lungs, acapella style.

The next day was Sunday, and that means Church, but we didn’t get home till 1am, so I was pretty tired at church/Sunday school. Then I had to get up and do the welcome in the service. It was a last minute appointment, which was fine, but then I was kinda goofy, and made everyone laugh with my easygoing nature. I also made a very funny and unintentional comment about old people, which had the whole congregation in a laughing uproar, so it was all ok. I’m not going to tell you what I said, because it was more of a situational comedy situation, and because everyone who I told about it, didn’t really laugh, and I can’t handle that kind of rejection this late at night. From there I drove to Westlock where I visited with Jon Kramer and Matt Kinniburgh. It was a good time; I did enjoy it, but even more then that, well maybe not more, but at least as much, ok anyway, I went CD Shopping the next day and bought some very high value CD’s at wonderful prices, but more about that later.

I am still reading this newest Donald Miller book, and I have been thinking a lot about this other thing he talks about. The Bible as a relational book rather then a “How To Book” or a “Self Help Book”. He talks about how much more he has gotten out of reading the bible since he started viewing it as a book about relationships, and seeing some deeper aspects to it, rather then just finding out what we can learn from the book of Leviticus and so on. I would like you all to read this book, and especially this section of the book, cause it is pretty interesting. He kinda re-tells the story of Adam and Eve, from a more relational point of view, and it is not totally there, but if you see the relational side of God, you can see this being the case. I don’t know I feel like that statement is on thin ice theologically, but read it and see what I mean.

Sorry I am getting really tired, I need to give you the song of the day and hit the sack otherwise this is going to turn into an even bigger pile of ridiculous blatherings then usual. One of the CD’s I bought was by a group called “The Smiths”. I have heard a lot about them, they are huge influences in the lives of so many of my favorite artists, especially indie-underground bands, they love the Smiths, and now so do I. I had never heard them before I bought the CD, but it was only $6.99, so I thought how could I go wrong, and apparently, I couldn’t. For those of you who want to stay on the safe side of the Smith’s check out the song “How Soon is it Now”, you might even recognize it from movie soundtracks and general 80’s music, though you, like me, probably didn’t know it was by the Smiths. For those of you who are more daring, check out the song “William, It was Really Nothing”, also by The Smiths. That is my favorite song right now on the album; I can’t get it out of my head. Tim Houghton, I really think you will like these guys. So if you have the means of desire, check these songs out. I gotta go to bed, I am so tired. Good Night and I love you!

Friday, April 08, 2005

Still Fighting It

So I was going to say I have made a decision to not write blogs when I am in an emotional state, but in saying that, it would take out almost everything I do. I realize that my emotions can’t control me and they don’t do it nearly as much as they used to, so I am improving, but to dismiss emotion all together would be a huge mistake on my part. Emotional swings are part of life, they make life miserable, but they also make life amazing, and they also make it so you can know the real person behind the blog and identify with the sometimes deep, sometimes shallow emotions that I feel and write about.

With that being said, I move onto my next point. God is Great. I’m sure you have all been aware of my struggles about where I would live and what I would do. As you also may know, I decided that I would officially move to Calgary. Well apparently God had other plans. Today I accepted a position here in Vermilion that has the potential to pay for my entire year of schooling and living in 6 weeks, which is the length that I will hold the position. The scary thing is, this will be the most stretching job that I will have ever had, because it is so out of my element in a way that no job has been before. I will be working mixing fertilizer and working in a warehouse full of farming chemicals. Bizarre huh? I found out about the job from the lady who is the director of our Children’s Ministry here at Parkview, so I looked into it and was given the job. Praise God for still working despite me nearly shrugging it off and sticking to my guns. What else is there to say other then how great is my God? I love that had everything so totally wrong and he just moved me enough and set circumstances up just right so this would come together. Praise God!

So I’ve started reading a new book. “Searching for God knows what” by Donald Miller. Similarly to my other reactions to Miller’s work, I have been enthralled. Today, I thought I had a meeting at 3:30, so I drove to the Church where I was supposed to meet these people, and I rolled my windows down, and I pumped my “Mike’s Sweet Ass Mix” (which is a mix of popular love ballads from Aerosmith to the Backstreet Boys and Bon Jovi to N’Sync ect) and read for an hour until the meeting was actually supposed to start, it was truly a great way to spend an afternoon, I would recommend it to anyone.

Have you ever been sitting somewhere wondering what that smell is and the realized it was your feet?......uh, yeah, me neither…..

Anyway, I got through three chapters this afternoon and was struck by one or two things that Donald Miller had to say. Miller was talking about how, many people knowingly or not, have reduced their Christianity to a formula. Then he say’s this: “So if the difference between Christian faith and all other forms of spirituality is that Christian faith offers a relational dynamic with God, why are we cloaking this relational dynamic in formulas?”

By formula’s Miller means the hoops we jump through that we think will impress God and get us in his good books. The things we do, not because we want to commune with God, but because we think that is the proper protocol for a Christian. Almost things that are habit, and we just do it just because.

That’s a hard thing to hear, because it’s true. Christianity is not known as a relationship with the creator of the universe. It’s seen as a place where judgmental, love-lacking, prejudiced, narrow minded people get together and look for ways to end other people’s happiness. I don’t want people to think that about God, I don’t want people to think that about people who are supposed to be in relationship with him, yet how much of the outworkings of my faith have communicated this, or even, how have I seen this in others and just let it go, not admonishing in a loving way. We are too scared to actually call each other on things because we don’t want to make people mad, and I know it’s not easy, but I am beginning to think, that I would rather have someone mad at me and have that person be a better follower of Christ, that sit and let people defame God and his love for us. I don’t know where this is going, but I can see people’s eye’s widening and getting scared for next year at school where they think I am going to be a big bastard and tell people off, well, don’t worry folks, I’ve learned about grace this year too, I hope no one really thought that about me, I’m not like that, but I am just tired of ignoring things that actually end up hurting people and being so concerned about their feelings that I let them go on making a fool of themselves and of God, and end up being totally devastated when someday someone finally tells them, and lovingly tries to set them straight. That being said, I am not claiming to have it all together, I am not with it, like recently when I was having my crisis, my dark night of the soul, Jenica Wilson had some brilliantly wise words to share with me, that I distinctly believe were from God, but I couldn’t see the forest from the trees as Marilyn Manson so tenderly described it.

I just want to share one more quote with you from Miller. “In my opinion there are two essential problems with believing God is somebody He isn’t. The first problem is that it wrecks your life, and the second is that it makes God look like an idiot.”

I love that Quote!

Today’s song of the Day is by my good friend and future roommate Ben Folds. His song “Still Fighting It” might just be one of the most amazing and best songs ever. It’s only the second song ever to cause me to be an emotional wreck in the weeping sense. It’s a beautiful coming of age song, where Ben seems to be reflecting on his relationship with his father and also his relationship with his child. I don’t know it sounds like a father son kind of thing, and when I listen to it and sing it (particularly on long lonely car drives to Calgary from Vancouver) it makes me miss my father and appreciate the good relationship I have with him, and just the loving relationship that I have with him, and how much I love my father. It causes me to get all emotional, actually the other song that makes me weep is also related to my father (what’s my deal?). Anyway, the imagery is really beautiful and powerful to me, and I just love this song and thought I would share it with you. It’s from his solo debut “Rockin’ The Suburbs”. So if you have the means or desire you should check this song out. Even if that means, the next time you hang out with me, you ask me to bring the CD so you can listen to that song. It’s worth it. Peace out my children.

“Good morning son. I am a bird. Wearing a brown polyester shirt”

Thursday, April 07, 2005

Blog Opposites, say it together really fast "Blogopposites"

Although, i am pleased for my Friend Matt Russell, who recieved over and above what he asked for in scholerships, i am not happy with this subject. For the fourth consecutive year, i have been rejected in my attempt to get a scholership. I am beginning to feel like the lady (who shall remain nameless) who picks all the people for scholerships has a personal vendetta against me, and doesn't want to give me any scholership money. Ok, i don't actually think that, but after four years, and with my specified ministry/career goals, you would think that by now that i would have recieved some semblance of a scholership. Even a Tim Houghton $50 one would be ok! But once again, i feel ripped off and disgruntled that i did not recieve even an honorable mention in scholerships, but for whatever reason was passed over. I have no clue what is holding me back from recieveing a scholership, my grades have even improved every year, do you have to be on the deans list to get one? The other thing that was brought up by my friend Tim Houghton is that they (the school to which i attend, though at this second my alliegance does not lie with) made a decision to give more scholerships to students who were pre-registered for next year. I don't know if that means if you weren't pre-registered that you would be less likely to get a scholership or what, but if it is the case that they wanted to give scholerships to students who were pre-registed, i would've appreciated an opportunity to do that. You see, being on Internship, the school doesn't send me any information regarding pre-registration or anything like that. I didn't even know that the packages were out, so how is a student on internship supposed to pre-register unless someone sends him a package or makes him or her, aware that the pre-reg stuff is available on the web-site? I don't know if Matt Russell had pre-registered, or any of the on-site students, but let's be honest, despite his sometimes cynicism and former frustrations with the school, he is one of thier favoirite students. Not that i am downplaying Matt's deserving of a scholership, but i am just interested in knowing if you kids pre-registered. Anyway, i am disappointed in not recieveing a scholership, and will let it rest there. God will provide in another way, i do believe that, it's just annoying, and i havn't been pissed off at the school for a long time, so cut me some slack here people. I will leave it at that.

Song of the day: Crystal Village by Pete Yorn. Crystal Village is from Pete's second album, and it is the first full song (after the intro). It is one of the songs that exist that when i hear it actually make my body move, i just want to rock out and sing. It's not even that deep of a song, but it's really good, and so is Pete. I am not very deep so, it always makes me think of my friend Crystal. I was thinking about that song this morning when i got out of the shower because i was gonna bring it in my car, but then i couldn't find my travelling CD case, so i just didn't bring it today. It's a great song, check it out if you have the means and or the desire.
"Apathy Reigns in this Place"

Monday, April 04, 2005

Rivers Cuomo was everything I wanted to be and more, when I was 17

I have been awake for one hour and 14 minutes. In that time, I managed to eat a fulfilling breakfast of Bacon and Eggs, watch one episode of The Cosby Show, make an appointment for an oil change today, read some blogs, and begin writing my own. I was thinking earlier how great life was, and how good of a morning I was having, I was thinking about how I didn’t care about anything in the world except my own happiness this morning.

Now that I have had time to think about that, I feel like crap. It could also be due to the fact that I am listening to a very near and dear to my heart song by the New Amsterdams, but I am convinced that it has to do with my attitude. I am so often concerned only with my own happiness and comfort, at the expense of at least thinking of other people who don’t have the modern conveniences that I have at my every whim. I am not thankful, and I hate that, I have never been without the conveniences of western life and I hate how much I take everything for granted. I agree (if you are thinking this) that my thankfulness should not come out of guilt, but out of a thankfulness to the one who actually provides life for me (God) but there are times like this morning, where I feel so guilty for being born in North America, but maybe instead of feeling guilty that I wasn’t born in Rwanda or China, I should just learn how to be thankful for the place I was born and the things that I have.

Bono, the lead singer of U2 has a lyric in his song “Crumbs from your Table”, that ever since I heard it has stuck with me, “Where you live should not decide, whether you live or whether you die.” I mean at this point there’s not much I can do about that whole problem, but I agree with it, but maybe there are things I can do, but beyond trying to incorporate it into my life somehow and call others to similar viewpoints, I don’t know. But then faith without deeds is nothing. I can say that I believe in this, that we need to make the world a better place, but am I doing anything about problems that extend outside of Vermilion? Did I try and do the 30 hour famine, even though I am sponsoring it as a youth event? Did I join Amnesty International like many of my favorite rockstars would tell me to do? Am in informed about the issues like Bono would want me to be? Do I care about people worldwide like Christ did?

Perhaps my calling to Church Ministry is it. Maybe I am supposed to care about other issues and let those change my life, but perhaps I should not feel guilty about not joining Amnesty International or not giving millions of dollars (which I don’t have anyway) to support things in far away countries. I don’t even know what I am saying anymore.

Song of the day: “Hanging on for Hope” by the New Amsterdams. It was one of my last summer songs. It’s really good. Here are the Lyrics.

“Are you hanging on for hope?
The clock strikes past the hour.
Is the pain enough to choke
the life out?

You may never get to sleep.
Your time is not your time tonight.
Her smile will make you weak
and proud.

Do you ever miss her?
Do you feel the cold wind whisper?
Is there anything more deafening?

Are you hanging on for hope?
It's all you've got worth living for.
Is it much too much to cope
the road out?

There's a tension when we speak.
The income's overrated
but it's worth it when we meet
on common ground.

Do you ever miss her?
Do you feel the cold wind whisper?
Is there anything more deafening

Are you hanging on for hope?
It’s all you got worth living for..
When I’m gone

Do you ever miss her?
Do you feel the cold wind whisper?
Is there anything

Do you ever cower?
When the clock strikes past the hour?
Is there anything more deafening?
Is there anything more deafening?”

So that’s the song, I really dig it. If you have the means and or the desire, check it out. Peace and Love (or Else)

Friday, April 01, 2005

Brian McLaren, my second floor father!

Hey Y’all

I debated whether or not I would post tonight, but here I am. I thought about giving everyone a break after that monster-sized post on Weezer, but then I was sitting here and I was bored and I was like, hey I might as well post before I go to bed.

I had an alright day. Woke up a little late, went to work, tried to do some work on my Sunday school lesson for this Sunday, but so far I have nothing. Did some reading, put the finishing touches on my talk for youth group tonight, all in all it was alright. Actually, in the time prior to and leading up to, and even a bit during our youth event tonight, I was feeling tired and crappy and grumpy, but then I was able to connect with my source a bit and got up and spoke to our group about many of the issues that had been plaguing me lately in regards to seeking God and trusting Him (see how I capitalized that?). It seemed to be very effective, well at least Kyle was moved by what I had to say, oh well. I came home after that, talked to my mom and some other family, and then called my good friend Carmen. It’s always good to talk to Carmen.

She brought up an interesting question in the context of relationships, like dating relationships. I read in John Eldridge’s stupid book “Wild at Heart” that women like to be pursued or fought for or at least that men wouldn’t give up so easy in the pursuit. Now I don’t want to speak too much from personal experience only to say that persistence doesn’t always work out, and so, now I don’t know if the persistence factor is worth it past the initial rejection. But then again, this could be a totally individual thing, it could vary from women to women, or is it like Eldridge thinks that “women need to be pursued, fought for, with persistence”. I’m not sure what any of this means, we were just talking about it, and Carmen seemed to be surprised by my lack of persistence in pursuing relationships, and I was of the attitude that “the original rejection sucks enough, why go back for more?”, but if that is the attitude that is keeping me from having a wife, I would ditch it, but then again, who am I, I am not ready to be married, I don’t know, this is such a messy, and touchy subject….Any thoughts?

Anyway, from there, we talked for a bit longer then went our separate ways as it usually happens with phone conversations, but it was really good to talk to her. Other then that, my feet are cold and I have been listening to U2 tonight, because I have had a deep and penetrating desire to listen to their latest album “how to dismantle an atomic bomb” so I did and it was superb and simply amazing. It makes me happy. Anyway, today’s song will be a U2 song, once again featured on their latest album. The song is “Sometimes You Can’t Make it On Your Own”. It’s a beautiful song about companionship, and it’s just so good. If you have the means or the desire you should check this song out. If you don’t have the means and or the desire, then you should damn-well get both, cause you are missing out! Love Mike

ps. I just finished re-reading McLaren's "A New Kind of Christian", he blows my mind everyday! His new book is just out, i will have to get it next week! Also, ah crap, i totally had something important to say, but now i can't remember...oh well