Boyz 2 Men, Rob Zombie, Backstreet Boys and Skid Row

 So, the other day I was going through my old case of mix cds. Yes, I still have my mix cd's - dating back as far as 16 years ago. Anyway, my wife and I were by ourselves, on a drive, and I was feeling romantic. So, I grabbed a mix cd that I made in highschool (actually I first made a mix tape, but I didn't have a tape player with me so I made a mix cd version of the original mixtape). The mix cd was titled "Mike's Sweet A** Mix". Now, here's a thing you should know about me. I grew up a rocker. I was raised on the Beatles, and Eric Clapton,  Pink Floyd (my dad's influence) before being introduced to Metallica, Aerosmith, Motley Crue, and Guns N' Roses (my uncle's influence). After that I morphed into something else - becoming a mix of all kinds of rock music - listening to 90's Canadian alternative rock, to emo, folk, and everything inbetween. But no matter what band I was listening to, I always considered myself a rocker at heart, and usually one with a bit of a harder edge. With all that in mind as a preface, you must also understand that I had/have a romantic side. I've always been drawn to love songs - ballads. You see. I can sing, I've always been able to, and there was something about these love songs and ballads that drew me in as a way of expressing romantic feelings towards girls in a way that I normally couldn't. In other words - these songs said what I wanted to say to girls that I was crushing on - but didn't have the confidence to do so. But I could envision myself winning over these girls with my magnficent singing voice and these magnificent songs of love and devotion. Spoiler alert - it didn't work.

So, with all these songs of love and balladry (i just made up a word) running through my heart and mind I decided to make a mix tape with my favorite love songs on it. So, that if I was ever with a girl driving in my parents minivan, I could pop in this tape and set the mood. It was brilliant really. Except that I felt like I was shaming my rock and roll roots. I felt like I was giving up part of my integrity and my rock and roll street cred. How can I be wearing my "Ride the Lightning Metallica" shirt to school on Monday and listening to a cd with Backstreet Boys on it on friday. I felt embarresment at my lack of rock ethic.

So, here is how I compromised. I made this mix tape full of love songs - featuring the likes of Backstreet Boys, N'Sync, Boyz 2 Men, Savage Garden - but also featuring 80's power ballads from Bon Jovi, Motley Crue, Poisen, and Skid Row. But in order to prove that I still had rock and roll integrity, after three lovey dovey songs I put a song by Rob Zombie on this mix tape. You go from soft, romantic music to the thudding bass and screaming lyrics of Rob Zombie. It's quite something, it's quite disturbing. But hey, I did what I felt I had to do in order to preserve my integrity as a rock and roller.

At the end of the day, I have given up my identity as some hard rocker. I'm too old to care about that stuff anymore. I found more satisfaction in being ok with liking some backstreet boys and Metallica at the same time. I accepted who I was, and didn't care who knew it. I guess the point is - don't pretend to be something you're not - or maybe don't deny that little embarresing part of who you are. It will likely make you more awesome.It's ok to admit that sometimes your soul likes  little N'Sync with your Led Zeppelin. But it's still not ok to like Nickelback or Justin Beiber.

I'll post the cd track listing here in a little while in case you want to listen to the music of my romantic heart circa 2001. It will blow your mind.

So long for now

Love,
The Shaolin