Broken Wrists and David Beckham without Skills

Hey,

Most of you know what’s going on in my life right now. I took yesterday to think, pray, fast and so on. This is what I came up with; I just thought I would share it with you.

“God, you put the words in my mouth and in my head this morning, then you confirmed it through your word.

‘Anyone who loves his father or mother more then me is not worthy of me; anyone who loves his son or daughter more then me is not worthy of me’ – Matthew 10:37

The first thing I think is that I am not worthy of you in the first place. I am not worthy of anything you offer, love, grace, salvation, healing, riches, glory, your presence, None. There is nothing I could do to attain worthiness. Why do you word it this way? All I know is that I have loved my earthly father more then I have loved you. I am sorry, and I know you are not asking me to diminish in love for my earthly father, but to grow in love for you. Also, not to be crippled and held back by this love for my father. No matter what happens, I will not stop loving you and trusting you. No matter what happens I will not cease to proclaim your goodness. Oh that people could see your glory, through whatever happens. Though God, you know it is my earnest desire for my father to live. Why? If he were to die, he would be in a much better place. I don’t want him to die because of the pain, because of the disruption, because of how it would affect my family. Perhaps in even looking ahead, I am not trusting you with the uncertainty. I want to love you more then anything. I want to release myself to you. This is me, dying today, to me, for you.

Matthew 7:7-12
‘Ask and it will be given to you, seek and you will find, knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, he who seeks finds, and to him who knocks, the door will be opened. For which of you if his son asks him for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish will give him a snake? If you then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your father in Heaven give good gifts to those who ask him? So in everything, do unto others what you would have them do to you. For this sums up the law and the prophets.’

This seems like a formula. Does it work like a formula? Does it depend on your definition of good gifts? Does this pertain only to things we “need”? Without the expectancy of a mathematical formula I ask – God please heal my father. I am seeking to have my father healed and I stand at the door of your throne room and knock that I might seek your favor in order to see my father healed. I love you, show me how to do so more, so that my attachment would lie in you, and my trust would be in you, and that my confidence would come from you, and that I would have confidence at all.”

So these were my thoughts. This is where I am at. I find out tonight the results of the bone scan. I am nervous. I also have my final youth event ever tonight, which is bittersweet, even like a bittersweet symphony.

Song of the day is “Cry in my Heart” by Starfield. It has helped my get through some of these days. The chorus say’s

“What do I have
If I don’t have you Jesus?
What in this life
Could mean any more?
You are my rock,
You are my Glory,
You are the lifter of my head”

Amazing song, if you have the means and or the desire, check it out. Talk to you soon.
Love Mike