Rivers Cuomo was everything I wanted to be and more, when I was 17

I have been awake for one hour and 14 minutes. In that time, I managed to eat a fulfilling breakfast of Bacon and Eggs, watch one episode of The Cosby Show, make an appointment for an oil change today, read some blogs, and begin writing my own. I was thinking earlier how great life was, and how good of a morning I was having, I was thinking about how I didn’t care about anything in the world except my own happiness this morning.

Now that I have had time to think about that, I feel like crap. It could also be due to the fact that I am listening to a very near and dear to my heart song by the New Amsterdams, but I am convinced that it has to do with my attitude. I am so often concerned only with my own happiness and comfort, at the expense of at least thinking of other people who don’t have the modern conveniences that I have at my every whim. I am not thankful, and I hate that, I have never been without the conveniences of western life and I hate how much I take everything for granted. I agree (if you are thinking this) that my thankfulness should not come out of guilt, but out of a thankfulness to the one who actually provides life for me (God) but there are times like this morning, where I feel so guilty for being born in North America, but maybe instead of feeling guilty that I wasn’t born in Rwanda or China, I should just learn how to be thankful for the place I was born and the things that I have.

Bono, the lead singer of U2 has a lyric in his song “Crumbs from your Table”, that ever since I heard it has stuck with me, “Where you live should not decide, whether you live or whether you die.” I mean at this point there’s not much I can do about that whole problem, but I agree with it, but maybe there are things I can do, but beyond trying to incorporate it into my life somehow and call others to similar viewpoints, I don’t know. But then faith without deeds is nothing. I can say that I believe in this, that we need to make the world a better place, but am I doing anything about problems that extend outside of Vermilion? Did I try and do the 30 hour famine, even though I am sponsoring it as a youth event? Did I join Amnesty International like many of my favorite rockstars would tell me to do? Am in informed about the issues like Bono would want me to be? Do I care about people worldwide like Christ did?

Perhaps my calling to Church Ministry is it. Maybe I am supposed to care about other issues and let those change my life, but perhaps I should not feel guilty about not joining Amnesty International or not giving millions of dollars (which I don’t have anyway) to support things in far away countries. I don’t even know what I am saying anymore.

Song of the day: “Hanging on for Hope” by the New Amsterdams. It was one of my last summer songs. It’s really good. Here are the Lyrics.

“Are you hanging on for hope?
The clock strikes past the hour.
Is the pain enough to choke
the life out?

You may never get to sleep.
Your time is not your time tonight.
Her smile will make you weak
and proud.

Do you ever miss her?
Do you feel the cold wind whisper?
Is there anything more deafening?

Are you hanging on for hope?
It's all you've got worth living for.
Is it much too much to cope
the road out?

There's a tension when we speak.
The income's overrated
but it's worth it when we meet
on common ground.

Do you ever miss her?
Do you feel the cold wind whisper?
Is there anything more deafening

Are you hanging on for hope?
It’s all you got worth living for..
When I’m gone

Do you ever miss her?
Do you feel the cold wind whisper?
Is there anything

Do you ever cower?
When the clock strikes past the hour?
Is there anything more deafening?
Is there anything more deafening?”

So that’s the song, I really dig it. If you have the means and or the desire, check it out. Peace and Love (or Else)