you will be set free

So anyone else think blogging is losing it's stature and priority in my life? How can you tell? Is it the weeks between blogs? Is it the quick and meaninless nature of the blogs i do write? Is it my chest hair? Who knows! Oh well, life has continued strangley enough. So, i have a confession to make, i have watched every episode of "Canada's next Top Model" and now it is over. I'm a little disappointed with the winner, but TV (except in DVD format) has become a perpetual disappointment to me. Something else was perpetuated today, but i can't quite remember what it was, oh yes, i was having an internal monologue about perpetuating racial steretypes. It didn't go very far, basically i just wanted to use the word perpetuating. I am listening to Derek Webb again, i haven't in a while, i've been focused on Radiohead and Counting Crows, and of course Cash. So i'm getting ready to go back to Vancouver again. This time for real for my dad's surgery. I'm scared. I think everyone's a little scared. Who knows how it will turn out. The hard part is being able to tell God that i want what he wants. Meaning if God sees fit to not have the situation the way i want it, then i need to want that. Like i said in a recent sermon, it's ok to have desires, but eventually, at the end of the day, we have to be able to put that aside and want what God wants, trusting that what he has for us is best, despite how it may feel or seem at the time. It's a continually humbling experiance and humility is the key to trusting God.
I've taken up drinking Caesers. Not in copius amounts, but what can i say, they are my favorite right now, and they are so spicy. I don't know what i shared that, maybe just because it's 11:39pm, and i've already run out of things to say. I'm finally reading "The Organic Church". It's challenging for sure, but i haven't figured out to do with the challenges, and or how i can fit the challenges and the answers into the context within which i know and love church. Maybe i can't reconsile the two? I don't know yet, i don't have anything concrete for you, i may have to read it twice and really try and pull some deep stuff out of it for you and for me, but it has been challenging to say the least, and exciting actually, part of me would like to be a part of something like that, but part of me realizes how much i have a hard time dealing with street people, and drug dealers, and drug addicts, so basically those people he so readily describes as good soil, i think i work better with people who are shallow soil, but then also i am trying to figure out what kind of soil I am and was? Was i actually good soil that produced fruit, or was it persistant love and care from a gardener or farmer that coaxed me out of bad soil? I haven't figured it out yet, and for those of you who haven't read the book (everyone besides Kyle and Jon Kramer) you have no bloody idea what i am talking about, but luckily i am starting to feel my eyes get heavy so it means i can head to bed now. I want to know what's going to happen with my dad, i really do so i can start preparing for it, but God is telling me to live now, live in the present because it's all we get. I guess i'd better stop looking forward and start focusing on the here and now, which once again means i should sleep.
much love, bring the lebenese canadians home!
ps. I was at Sammy's this last weekend and had the worst service i have ever had the misfortune of having at this fine Vermilion dining establishment in my life. Luckily it wasn't any of my regulars, but beware of the Saturday night staff, they were a disappointment. Although Troy will just think it's par for the course, negative experiances are not the regular occurance of Samuels (Sammy's).