I hate doctors

Since my pediatrician Dr. Hay retired, i have never felt comfortable or happy with the service i have recived from subsequent physicians. When i transfered over to my parents doctor, my frustrations grew ever so much more, as whenever i needed to see a doctor she was on vacationing or had left early for the day, or when i would make an appointment to see her at one of the rare occasions she was supposed to be in her office, the appointment would be for 1pm, i wouldn't get in to see her until 3pm. Needless to say she has made enough blunders with me and my family over the years that i have built up heavy amounts of animosity towards her and her practise.

As you may or may not know, my father was recently diagnosed with a brain tumor, originally two actually, but upon closer inspection, the neurologist that my dad has seen told him, one of the tumors was not actually there, and that it was not cancerous. Upon seeing our family physician, who i don't like, today, she read the report and informed my father that there were indeed two tumors and yes they were cancerous. My contempt for doctors has risen so much at this moment that i am actually shaking. I have never been so angry in my life for the huge misleading that this neurologist has done to my family. We were celebrating the dissipation of one tumor and them not being cancerous as a miracle from God and maybe getting our hopes up that this trend would continue with my father having succesful surgery to remove the one and only tumor, but now i'm not so sure, hell i'm not doctor, (thank god, then i would really hate myself) i can't make a real diagnosis, but conisdering the information we've recieved thus far from what some people would call a real doctor, i'm sure i could do just as well.

I am allowing myself to be this angry, because it is a good way to cover up how scared and upset i am, and it helps me feel something other then depressed and scared. It helps me focus on something other then the obvious. Hows that for instant introspection, and laying my personal feelings and crap on the line for everyone to see, i hope it doesn't seem pretentious. Not even Scrubs can help me now.