"I do confess...i put you on just like a wedding dress..."

Suprised no one guessed which book i read. It was "The Di Vinci Code", scandelous i know! Overall, i didn't think the writing was spectacular, and i guessed a couple of the main plot twists long before they happened, but i haven't decided if that was because of the poor writing or my genius, so we shall see i guess.

Speaking of books i have read, here is a passage from another one i read. It's called "I talk back to the Devil". Great title to begin with, second of all, the cover of my version is spectacular, i wish i could find a picture of it, but alas, the internet has failed me again. So without further ado, here is some thoughts from A.W. Tozer.

"In answer to this, I happen to know that young people can be just as responsible before God as older people. The youth who meets Jesus and is converted is just as ready and responsible for inconvienance and cost to himself as is the man of seventy. Jesus Christ never offered amusement or entertainment for His disciples, but in our day we have to offer both if we are going to get the people - because they are common Christians." - pg. 52.

Tozer was talking about Christians who never go beyond skin deep in thier faith and in thier relationship with God. He pointed out a few reasons why, and one of them was the distraction of fun. We want to know if Christianity is going to be fun, because if it's not, we don't want to waste our time. Regardless, he makes a great point that struck home with me in regards to Youth Ministry. I wondered out loud if by focusing on the big wham bam events, the glitz and glamour of youth ministry, have we lost focus on what it is to actually make strong disciples of Christ. Have we settled for a regular attender, rather then a young person who is genuinely seeking God and the deepeing of a relationship with him? Have we sacrificed Good biblical teaching and learning for, funny stories? Have we dumbed down youth ministry so that is better for the crowd? And are we making weak or "Common Christians" because of it? Think about what happens when teens leave youth group...the majority of them fall out of the faith community, there's nowhere for them to fit in and grow, and continue what we think they started in youth group. I was thinking what it would be like to do a youth ministry as somthing small that focused on learning your faith, sharing it with other people, and practising spiritual disciplines, and working our way into the larger church community rather then being so compartmentalized. I wonder if this could work, but then again, work is such a subjective term right. For some people, work in this context means to have 300 kids coming out to a youth event, and not caring what they got out of it, or how it affected them. Other look to number of baptisms and conversions, and still others look at the stuff thats harder to see, life change and relationships with Christ growing and blossoming.

Basically, Tozer has caused me to question, what i truly believe about youth ministry, and what my heart is in that type of a program. I've started to think that we have served the God of width not depth of ministry, and i don't reconsile well with that.

As far as liars go, I am one. I have been struggling with this for a while, the facade of the work disposition. Standard greeting when people arrive, "Good Morning, how are you? Fine thanks, how are you? Good thanks!" This is how it goes, and what bothers me, is that i am not always feeling good. Poignently expressed in my shift last saturday, Friday night, i found out my dad had two tumors in his brain. Needless to say, i was quite, and still am quite shaken up. That next day at work was the worst shift i ever had, but i couldn't just screw off, i needed to work, and serve the customers, and i needed to be pleasent in doing it. Not that CP forces you to put on a happy face, it's just part of working with people. You need to be able to help even when you feel like crap, and thats how it went, but i felt like not asking people how they were, because i knew the question would come in reverse, and i would have to lie in order to avoid and awkward situation that no one, not even i wanted to be a part of.

So thats about it. I also recently read, "The Catcher in the Rye" bizzare book, kinda hope thiers a movie, cause it would be one i like. Now i am starting "The Five Love Languages" by Gary Chapman, who incedently is not Amy Grant's ex-husband, who i heard to day was a drug addict, but i didn't know that, i always just assumed Amy and Vince were dirty homewreckers and Gary was the victim. Oh well.

Song of the day is "Wedding Dress" by my new, and very real friend Derek Webb. Great song, great artist, great ...something.

Peace.