"I kissed you in a style Clark Gable would've admired.....I thought it Classic"

Happy Mothers Day! Even if you aren't a mother, i hope you had a good one. In fact i am not aware of any mothers that actually read my blog, but i hope even if you aren't a mom, you took the time to tell your mom how much she means to you.

So, i literally just finished reading McLaren's new book "The last word and the word after that". Like i said, it had some mind blowing elements, more so then usual was McLaren able to push me in my mind and heart. I remember when i first read "A New Kind of Christian" and it was really controversial to a lot of people. People were having thier minds blown, and to me, it wasn't all that big of a deal. I liked the book, i felt like McLaren was vocalizing things that i had believed in all along, but he wasn't shattering my world, like i saw happening to people around me. I actually was turned off of McLaren, because some of the people who were becoming devoted followers of him around me, i was in conflict with, so i waited till i moved to Calgary to read his books. Good times, you should read some of them sometime....

Anyway, there is this song that i heard. It's called "Clark Gable" by a group called The Postal Service. I got a mix CD of a bunch of thier songs and i listen to them in my car. I keep all my burnt CD's in my car, so if ever some dingleberry decides to steal my car and my CD's he only get's the burnt ones. I will still be mad, but at least i won't lose anything of huge monitery value. Anyway, there is this song called "Clark Gable" (for those of you who don't know, Clark Gable was a movie star back in the day, most famous for his role in the huge film "Gone with the Wind". Anyway the song is kind of weird it recounts this stange encounter that the writer has (or has in his mind perhaps), but it also puts into words a deep passion for romance and relationship. Here Check out the Lyrics.

"I was waiting for a cross-town train in the london underground
When it struck me that I've been waiting since birth to find
A love that would look and sound like a movie so I changed
My plans and rented a camera and a van and then I called you
"I need you to pretend that we are in love again" and you agreed to

I want so badly to believe that "there is truth, that love is real"
And I want life in every word to the extent that it's absurd

I greased the lens and framed the shot using a friend as my stand-in
The script it called for rain but it was clear that day so we faked it
The marker snapped and I yelled "quiet on the set"And then called "action!"
And I kissed you in a style that clark gable would have admired
(I thought it classic)

I want so badly to believe that "there is truth, that love is real"
And I want life in every word to the extent that it's absurd
I know you're wise beyond your years, but do you ever get the fear
That your perfect verse is just a lie you tell yourself to help you get by?"

So there are the lyrics to the song. I was particularly gripped by the line "and i want life in every word to the extent that it's absurd". It's this desire for a relationship for a romance so passionate that there isn't down time. So that every action, every word somehow affects the relationship. To put the relationship in a place of highest prominance. Hmmm, even as i write that i see that being a follower of Christ would get in the way of that dream. I think it resonates in my heart because i am such a passionate person. When i graduated from High School, there was a Youth Group Grad celebration and my youth pastor coined these words in describing me "Mike is a passionate guy, when he loves he loves with everything inside of him, and when he hates something it is the same". That was not a direct qoute, but that was the idea. Anyway, in my pursuit of a romantic relationship with a female i make it life or death, and this equation to the romance and the relationships shown in popular media, especially films, makes sense to me. I want my love, my wife, to be like William Wallace and his wife Murrin in the film "Braveheart". Well, except for the part where she gets killed, but you know what i mean. Passionate, mysterious, holy, undying, worth fighting for, and so on. I want to feel the feelings that they portray in their acting. But then in the song it raises the idea that those kinds of emotions might not be real, yet the singer wants so badly to believe that they are true, and i am with him on that, i want it to be true as well. I want to believe that when i find my wife that my love for her can be as real as William Wallace's for Murrin, as Bob Harris' for Charlotte in "Lost in Translation" and even to go back to something like Romeo and Juliet. I believe i have that romantic spirit, and it shows itself throught my affirmation of those situations, characters and themes. I don't know why i am writing all of this, except to say that the song "Clark Gable" seems to have evoked in me a real resonating of desire, whether it be good or not. I want to love someone. This whole thing reveals of course, that my desire to love another human being not being in sync with my love for God. I know i am supposed to love God more then anything, and i believe he is worthy of it, but sometimes the desire/the craving/the passion(props to Jesus/Jim Caviezel) for a love relationship with a women overshadows it. Not all the time, but sometimes, maybe even often times, and this song reveals it. It reveals my desires and it reveals my fears. That makes it a good song. I have been wanting to share this song for a while, but have been putting it off, cause i don't know what Good it would do to put out there how desperatly i want to love and to be loved. Oh well, it's out there now, theres not much i can do...well i could erase all this, but i am simply expressing myself, my true feelings, and who i am. Don't feel sorry for me, as much as i wish it was, love, true love, is not something that happens overnight, i just wish it would get started. And who knows, maybe it has. :)

Song of the day is obviously "Clark Gable" by The Postal Service. Check it out, if you have the means and or the desire that is. It's a pretty cool song, at least i think it is. Is there anything else to say...hmmm....i don't think so.....i might be in pursuit of my dreams.....who knows i am so wishy washy with life these days.....

Also, does anyone else believe in Spring Fever? I do, especially with CBC, but i think since being at CBC is has been bred into my system to want to be in a relationship at this time of the year more than other times of the year. With those selfish and repetitious musings i will leave you.