Evaluation
So, like a month and a half ago or somewhere around that time, i (on my own initiative) asked several people in my church to fill out an evaluation of me and my ministry.
Wow.
I do and I don't regret doing this. (keep in mind i am posting this blog mere seconds after reading the results of the evaluation) I don't regret it because it is the right thing to do. To go to other people and ask for them to help you see yourself fully in order to be better at what you do. I do regret it because, it hurts. I know i'm not perfect, in fact, i agreed with much of what was on there, i knew my own faults mostly, but i guess i was not prepared to hear other people say the things that i already knew. And i think it bugs me because it is annonymous, at least to me. I didn't compile the results, one of our board members did, so he knows who said what, but at the same time, i don't want to know, cause i don't want to hate people.
I guess it feels like some of the comments made are not coming across in the spirit of helping me improve as much as they are knives being thrust into me. I know i am being dramatic, anyway, i just wanted to say, being evaluated (i think in ministry more then not ministry) is difficult and painful, unless you are totally awesome, and then it is probably great.
posted by Shaolin @ 11:39 AM
2 Comments:
i'm ok now, i just needed to get it off my chest, and be self indulgant in my pain for a few minutes. Thanks for listening though!
I don't have evaluations where I am. I just have talks with my senior, and they are mostly to keep me motivated. Any feedback from elders is filtered for me to what is really beneficial for me to know.
I think that he feels that unless it is an actually healthy church atmosphere, evaluations will likely only cause way more problems, than help.
I'm not sure where I stand on this but as a pastor, I feel way too emotionally unstable to handle something like what you had. I would likely be gone to work at McD's before the dust settled, to live out the rest of my days with the attitude that I gave ministry a chance, but it should be left to completely perfect people.
So, I commend your strength and resilience for being able to survive an evaluation.
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