"Much Afraid".....of Coyotes!

Whoa. I just got back from an interesting night. I think a week or so ago I mentioned eating a great chicken bacon ranch sub at subway with some ladies from my church. Well tonight, I was invited in a round about way to go see a movie with one of them. Well I like hanging out with people and watching movies so I was like sure. So I went and hung out with her, and then we watched the film “Hitch” at the local Vermilion theater, which before tonight I had never been too. So I got a water, and sat down and watched the film It was alright, it had it’s moments for sure, but at the end of the day, it was a romantic comedy, and I wasn’t in the mood. I had a good time though. Then I came back home, and noticed again that the northern lights were dancing, but this time, they were spread across the whole sky, it was amazing. I got out of my car to stand and watch, then I heard a coyote howling, but it was kind of far away, but then I heard another coyote howling and it sounded like it was in the next yard, so I ran to the door, got my keys out and was safe from being eaten by the coyote. Whew. Anyway, it was a good day.
Today I preached my second sermon, and it went well. God seemed to speak through me and I felt affirmed again in my ability to communicate God’s word through preaching. I’m not going to go into details, one because it is kinda surreal to me, and two because I am tired and want to go to bed before midnight. If you really wanna see what it is like, you will just have to watch the DVD…yeah that’s right, we make DVD’s in Vermilion!

Right now, my ankle and my knee are sore. At first I wasn’t sure what would’ve caused such an irregular pain, and then I realized that for three hours this afternoon I ran around with a bunch of teens playing floor hockey, and by the end of it, I was in goal, trying with all my might to make a save, but having little to no luck in that department. I don’t think I have ever typed a blog entry with this much speed. I don’t mean the drug, I mean the speed with which I am typing, I wish you could see it, because reading it won’t really convey the true speed at which I am typing, it’s mind blowing actually. Whoa. Let’s take a breather….

I had a wonderful conversation with my good friend Carmen last night. She called me and we talked for a while about different things, relationships, my sermon, life in general, ghosts of CBC past, it was more then a little enjoyable. In fact I would go so far as to say it made my night. I am thankful to have a friend like Carmen, because she always makes me laugh, or at least makes me make her laugh, which in turn makes me laugh, and I just appreciate our relationship. I bet she is reading this right now and thinking “yeah, this is so me!” haha. Sorry, I try and stay away from inside jokes on my blog, but that one couldn’t be helped. Anyway, thanks for the call Carmen, thanks for the encouragement and the prayers about the sermon, it really did help. Love ya

Uh, other then that, not too much else to report, my ankle is now more painful then my knee, but I have found in the four minutes since I typed that, the pain in both has decreased substantially. Zowie! Also, I think I am going to start saying Jeepers. It seems like a good word that is in need of some verbal exposure.

The song of the day is the song “Much Afraid” by Jars of Clay. I have been trying to buy that album for so long, but I can never find it when I have money. Then the lady at Christian Publications in Edmonton, told me it had been discontinued, which made me very upset, because it is a great album, and also a great song. It is my favorite song by the band Jars of Clay. With this song, and a couple others, the Jars showed me that Christian Music can be depressing, and for that I thank them.

"empty again
sunken down so far
so scared to fall
i might not get up again

so i lay at your feet
all my brokenness
i carry all of my burdens to you

CHORUS:
all of these things
i've held up in vain
no reason nor rhyme
just the scars that remain
of all of these things
i'm so much afraid
scared out of my mind
by the demons i've made
sweet Jesus, you never ever let me go
oh, sweet Jesus, never ever let me go

so happy to love
yet so far to go
you lead me on
to where I've never been before"

Ok, so it has some hope in it, but the song itself sounds depressing. It’s a song about screwing up, a song about wanting to be in Christ Jesus, but screwing up so often, and being tied to the “demons we’ve made”. But it’s also about Christ, and his love for us, and how even when we screw up and feel like crap (I really wanted to say shit, but I said crap instead) Christ still loves us and he doesn’t leave us. I love this song, I identify with this song, I have felt those emotions, I have cried those tears, I have shouted this pain at the top of my lungs. This is a beautifully written and performed song, and even if you aren’t a Christian, well you might still like it. So if you have the means or desire, check it out.

Anyway, I am so fagged out. (fagged out is an old british term for being tired) So I am going to go to bed. Well actually, I’m going to continue talking to Tim Houghton on MSN for a while, then I am going to go to bed, but I am first going to publish this blog. I love you all, sleep well, or have a good day depending on what time zone you are in. Also thank you to any of you who prayed for me as I delivered my sermon, God honored those prayers and seemed to work in a mighty way today through the words he gave me.